Today's the day

What's so ironic about the whole thing is that it happened 3 years ago... and the trial is just now coming to an end around Halloween. What's even MORE ironic is that the last time I saw my cousin was at my Halloween party in 2003... which just happened to be his favorite holiday.

My cousin and I were best friends. He lived a little farther away than we'd liked but we still made it work. He was the best advice giver I have ever met in my entire life. He was always so blunt about things - and wasn't afraid to speak his mind. (eh, remind you of someone?) Either way - he made an impact on my life in one way or the other. The story:

On November 7, 2003, Daniel decided he was going to get some cigarettes before his friends came over to carpool to a party. Instead of taking his truck, he took his motorcycle (a Honda RC-51). He lived and breathed those things - even taught me how to ride - he worked at Mega Motor Sports building the engines before they were sold - and had even built his own from the ground up. So, off to get some cigarettes (he swore up and down that he was going to quit soon) and I guess he was driving a little too fast. They determined he had to be going at least 80/90 mph in a 35. On another road, this lady was driving her mother, her children, and herself in a huge truck like maybe a Ford F-150 or something. For some reason, I have always pictured this truck being red - i'm not sure why - and i'm not sure if it's true either.

She didn't stop at the stop sign and within a split second, my cousin had hit the side of her truck and flipped over it - hitting the pavement, splitting his helmet in two. He died instantly. All I can think about is "did he see it coming?" "what did he think?" "did he know he was about to die?" "were his last words 'oh shit'?" you know.. things like that.

The police came, cleaned up the wreckage - did their investigation - and took the lady to jail with charges of vehicular homicide or something like that. I know nothing about her - and would like to keep it that way.

I had stayed the night at my boyfriend's house that night. My mom didn't find out until the morning - when my aunt called her... and my aunt didn't want to be the one to call me. I lived in Smyrna at the time... and had gotten in a car wreck just about a month earlier. (which - the series of events that happened to me in those few months were ridiculous - will explain later) Either way - my mom called me and asked me to call her when I got home - because I was driving when she called the first time.

At about 10 am on November 8th - I found out. My mom told me "erika, there's been an accident - and Daniel was involved." I immediately started to grab my things to go to the hospital and thoughts were running through my head "i need to call so and so and cancel this - and cancel that" etc. My next question was "ok - which hospital is he in". And then she told me he didn't make it. I was devastated. I remember sitting on the couch - that stupid clear phone that Heather had is the one I called her back on - and just screaming. No one else was at home. I can't tell you what I did the rest of that day. All I remember is being so sick to my stomach and having this horrible ache that has slowly subsided over time.

I remember going to the viewing... and surprisingly we were allowed to see him. I broke down. I don't think I’ve cried so hard in my entire life. I kept hearing whispers of "that's his cousin" as I passed... from the people I hadn't met but only heard of. We left there and the funeral was the next day. My mom went with me - I don't think I would have been okay without her there.

At the funeral, his coworker told the story of the first time he brought me to Mega Motor Sports. We hopped on the bike and drove down there. We walked in and everyone was like "damn, Daniel's got a new girlfriend!" People started emerging from every corner of that place to meet me - because, i guess he talked about me quite a lot (our adventures, etc) anyway - we walked in, and he was introducing me to everyone. When we got to his boss's desk... he said "so and so, this is my cousin" no name, no nothing. So, they assumed that he forgot my name (which, maybe he did for a few minutes but whatever - we'd known each other forever). They took their labeling machine and printed my name out - stuck it on the side view mirror underneath his helmet - while he continued to introduce me to other people. When we got ready to leave - everyone came outside and as we put our helmets on - it was a good laugh. :)

So - his boss told that story at the funeral and told me (over the PA) that I was so special to him and that they knew he had a place in his heart for me. I believe it. He was special to me too. And I miss him every day.

The next event is one that doesn't happen often. How many times have you heard Tool played in a church? Eh, I never thought that would happen. Well, it did - Daniel's favorite song was played. It was something that he would have thought was oh-so-cool. Which it was. I would have spoken, but I don't think I could have. People would have just had to listen to me cry, that's how bad it was.

I still have his last beer bottle - that was left on my desk from the Halloween party... He was the UPS man... complete with a package to deliver. It was good times.

There's a billboard in his honor up along a major highway... It says to look twice and save a life....