John Mayer = current disappointment

*sigh* John Mayer. The love of my life (well, for his voice and lyrics, that is). I've loved him since he came out with Room for Squares and even more when he came out with Heavier Things. I loved every single song on that album. His voice is so amazing.

So, now, I'm facing a dilemma. John Mayer has now become the "John Mayer Trio" with horrible, horrible songs... AND to top it off there are "rumors" that he's dating Jessica Simpson!!!I'm disgusted. Utterly disgusted. Do I shade myself away from the musician that once made me so happy? If he truly recognizes real talent, why the hell is he talking to Jessica Simpson?! Her voice is ridiculous...

Some of his lyrics got me through some tough times. For instance: this happens to be my favorite song of his - ever!

"Split Screen Sadness"

And I don't know where you went when you left me but

Says here in the water you must be gone by now

I can tell somehow

One hand on the trigger of a telephone

Wondering when the call comes

Where you say it's alright

You got your heart right

Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and

Wait on the porch 'til you come back home

Oh, right

I can't find a flight

We share the sadness

Split screen sadness

Two wrongs make it all alright tonight

All you need is love is a lie cause

We had love but we still said goodbye

Now we're tired, battered fighters

And it stings when it's nobody's fault

Cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name

It's only the air you took and the breath you left

Maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and

Wait on the porch 'til you come back home

Oh, right

I can't find a flight

So I'll check the weather wherever you are

Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight

It might be my only right

We share the sadness

Split screen sadness

I called

Because

I justNeed to feel you on the line

Don't hang up this time

And I know it was me who called it over

butI still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day

Don't let me get away

Cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me

So I can say this is the way that I used to be

There's no substitute for time

Or for the sadness

Split screen sadness

We share the sadness

There are many other songs of his I like, of course, but this one tops it off. I believe I have quoted him a time or two...

"I can tell you this much, I will marry just once and if it doesn't work out, give her half of my stuff. It's fine with me. We said eternity. I will go to my grave with the life that I gave, not just a melody line on a radio wave, it dissapates, and soon evaporates...."
(excerpt from Home Life)

...and let me tell you I believe and almost live by those words. It's so bizarre. And now, look what's happening. I have to put him on the "not so cool" list. That's not right!

Oh, and I still haven't found a good football team yet and it's already Thursday. I'm trying though! I have decided to go to the GAC vs. Buford game on the 29th... that is, if i'm moved in fully already. It's going to be a really good game... :) I can't wait!

Onset of the football itch

Yes. There it is. Ahhh.... the sweet smell of football season approaching! It used to mean hours upon hours of practice in the hot weather for me (definitely well worth it), Now, my old high school barely plays the same teams anymore. I checked out their schedule this season and there's not one single game i'm dying to go to. There used to be two or three a season.

My football team through high school was always good. I think there was only one year that we didn't win state... and yes, I went to each and every game from 7th grade on. It is a favorite past-time of mine.

Last night I was hangin out with some people I haven't hung out with before (well, not by myself anyway - there were other distractions previously) and good ole 'football' was brought up. I've never really had a college team to root for. I've always been a Buford Wolf and that's all that mattered to me - it was enough football for a season, too. So now i'm faced with the decision of picking a team.

It's sad, i've never even dated anyone who was hardcore for a college or pro team so I know nothing about good/bad teams, etc. My choice needs to be an edcuated one - so I don't look like a schmuck rooting for a consistantly losing team!

I may attend a Buford game just to see the show (yes, the marching show) and I might find out when their competitions are - those were always so much fun. Football and cuddling are the ONLY reasons I like cold weather in the slightest. So, my challenge this week (and boy is it going to be a busy one) is to find a good football team to root for. Let's see how I do!

liberation week

I'm not sure what it is about this week - but everyone I know has been liberated in some form. Adventureman got a long awaited document signed. Roommate finally stated how she really felt. I'm sure it was something she's been holding in for a long while, cause I had no clue. I finally collected some overdue monies and closed a relationship that had been open far longer than it should have. My trusted advisor left a job which was wearing him down, probably not the way he'd envisioned leaving it, but leaving it all the same.

All in all, it was a crap week. There were several days I didn't feel like being at work, and several no-good-very-bad-horrible-rotten days. It happens, right? At least now it's in the past and I'm looking forward to bright things...

1. moving in a month (no more traffic!!!)
2. dance classes start this week
3. stumbled upon a "roommate" very randomly

I was also introduced to this website called veryliberating.com. Adventureman goes on there all the time... It's kind of funny. You can post anonymously and no one ever has to know. You can read others' post and think about what freaks they are (because we all know they really are).

what a day...

**Warning** Don't read this if you're having a good day - it might make yours turn sour.

Yesterday I was late for work because I woke up late. In the past year and a half I have never slept in to where I didn't make it to work. There were some close calls, but nothing major. Yesterday, that wasn't the case. I slept until 8:30 and was supposed to be at work by 8:30. Oops! So, being paranoid, I woke up at 5:30, 5:45, 6, 6:15, 6:30 and turned my alarm off until 7. PLENTY of time to get to work. I got up, got dressed, and danced my way around my apartment until I was ready for the day. Here's where it goes sour.

1. I parked under a tree. Because of that, these little green things fell onto my car (which was wet from the rain). These things, not a clue what they are, decided to "spread" when I turned my wipers on leaving a green muck on my windshield. Lovely. The muck looked like something you'd find in a newborn's diaper. Not kidding.

2. Left the complex, turned Right onto the main road. I sunk in my seat once I spotted the rows of traffic I was about to fight. Ugh. I even left early so I wouldn't be late! I fought traffic all the way downtown - and actually made it, right at 8:30. (surprisingly)

3. I get out of my car and the building manager is in the parking deck with a squigee scooting the water around. "Good Morning," I say. "Hey, ummm, there was a sign posted in the lobby this morning written in blue marker that said to go to a meeting on your floor. Just wanted to let you know that's unacceptable... blah blah blah"... "ok. I'll take care of it." and I walked away. He was still talking. I hadn't even reached the building yet and he was already reaming me for something I had no control over.

So, I get upstairs and tell my office manager about it, who, in turn, sends an email to the culprit and copies the building manager on it. But did that stop him? Nope. He continues to come up the elevator, to my desk, with the disapproving sign, and continues to tell me how unprofessional it is. What does he want from me? I already told him that i'd take care of the situation. I was running a few minutes late because he had to stop me and lecture me about it and i'd had enough. So, I kinda snapped at him. "OKAY. I will take care of it, insert name here, I GET IT!" And he still kept talking. Wow. What an idiot.

I told my office manager and she 'took care of it' and told him he was rude. Haha. Lovely.

Now, let's see how much worse this day can get. I'm sure there's something else that could go wrong. Or maybe it's just because i'm annoyed. Who knows?

Update on my situation:
1. I'm not going to live with said roommate anymore. I'll be finding a place on my own, but possibly getting another roommate to share that place. I'm going to look at it tonight. It's in a really nice neighborhood.
2. Class started last night. I can tell it's going to be more of a debate-type class than a 'mark a,b,c, or d.' class. I love it.
3. I signed up for my dance classes. They start next week.
4. I finally got a school ID card. I'd lost mine in the "transition". As luck would have it, I found it last night while packing.

So, now that you've shared in my frustrations, hopefully you're not too frustrated yourself - or maybe you can just be frustrated for me! You were forewarned - if you were in a good mood before reading this and aren't now... not my fault!

a child of the 90's

Recently, I've been searching through old music. I actually have some cassettes still at my mom's house. My very first cassette was Madonna's album with Like A Prayer on it. It got stuck in my tape player.

These songs have brought back this nostalgic feeling - and there are several memories tied to them. For instance, the night I found out my best friend (at the time)'s brother killed himself, there was a song playing (that, for the life of me, I can't seem to remember which one right now). But every time I hear that song I think about him. He was only 14.

In lieu of my recent music searching, I've compiled a list of songs that I grew up to. That's not to say these are my favorite songs by these artists by any stretch of the imagination, it's just the songs that were out when I was growing up. I'll probably go home tonight and make a mixed CD and call it a day. Enjoy.

Toad the Wet Sprocket - Walk On the Ocean
Pete Yorn - Strange Condition
Collective Soul - The World I've Known
Counting Crows - Mr. Jones
Better Than Ezra - Good
Blues Traveler - Run Around
Live - Lightning Crashes
REM - Losing My Religion
Lisa Loeb - Stay
Sheryl Crow - All I Wanna Do
Jewel - Who Will Save Your Soul
Fiona Apple - Criminal
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris
John Mayer - No Such Thing
Mariah Carey - Dreamlover
Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry
Nirvana - All Apologies
Matchbox 20 - Push
Eve 6 - Inside Out
Beck - Strange Invitation
Semisonic - Singing In My Sleep
Ace of Base - The Sign
Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight
Pearl Jam - Evenflow
Blessed Union of Souls - I Believe
Arrested Development - Mr. Wendel
Dishwalla - Counting Blue Cars
Everything but the Girl - Missing
Gin Blossoms - Til I Hear it from You
Hootie and the Blowfish - Hold My Hand
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train
Jon Secada - Just Another Day
Oasis - Champagne Supernova
The Cranberries - Linger
Dog's Eye View - Everything Falls Apart
Everlast - What It's Like
Tonic - If You Could Only See
Candlebox - Far Behind
Spacehogs - In the Meantime
The New Radicals - You Get What You Give

Up and Coming

Several exciting things are happening in my own little world. Thought i'd share...

1. "Step" classes start the week of the 28th. That'll be one goal checked off my list. Mondays from 6-6:50, just enough time to get to my class at 7:15.

2. Dance classes also start the week of the 28th... from 7-7:50 on Wednesday nights. It's concentrated in Hip Hop - that makes me very excited!

3. Class starts Monday - I have an Introducing the City class as well as Global Issues. Should make for an interesting semester. 2 more A's and I'll be able to start the education I came to school to begin with for!

4. Roommate and I are going to look at some places tonight. We're moving. I'm really excited about that, too. I won't have to sit in hours of traffic anymore!

C'est tout.

unexpected encouragement

"your qualities overshadow your weaknesses"

Now, how come every time I get in a rut, I order chinese? And how come every time I order chinese they put at least 2 fortune cookies in the bag? (And what does that mean, by the way? That i'm ordering enough food for 2 people...when it's only me?) Anyway, how come a fortune cookie is always handed to me that relates almost specifically to the thoughts i've had which led me to order the chinese in the first place?

Breaking up with someone doesn't mean you're free and clear of the heartache it causes. When you're doing the breaking up it's still hard. It's not like you didn't want to be with that person in the first place... the feelings are still involved, it's just that they did something to mess that up. I'd been down on myself a little bit and thinking that I was a little weak for no reason. He was a horrible boyfriend and I didn't want to be with him for a reason, but there's always that thought in the back of my mind that I did something wrong, when clearly I know I didn't.

So, the other night, when I was feeling not so hot, I ordered my chinese, sat down with a few movies and some wine (no, I wasn't drinking alone). I opened my fortune cookie and there it was: "your qualities overshadow your weaknesses". Just the inspiration I needed to remind myself of that moment of weakness was miniscule compared to my awesome qualities. Mmhmm! :) What's funny about it, too, is that I got 3 cookies with that order... and this message happened to be in the one I opened. The other two are still in their wrappers.

Everywhere I turn there are words of wisdom helping me through this. I've been doing incredibly good, don't get me wrong, but I do have my moments of weakness.

C'est la Vie.

desk notes

Words of wisdom coughed up from my desk:
The process, not the end product, is the point. Once you remember that, you'll find that you're able to breathe much easier. Enjoy yourself during the journey and you'll find that the destination is almost beside the point.

It was me who put them there probably a month or two ago when I was struggling. Struggling to maintain a balanced life in lieu of an awful breakup - always running here or there and not really seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like i'm doing better now, with more structure to the parts of my day that need structure; and more freedom to the parts of me that want to go out 'on a whim'. It's nice, I must say.

Printing these words of wisdom have only helped me by osmosis because I can't say that I've read it more than three times since it's been there. Oddly enough, I live by it, too.

Along with the small notes are many pictures of the kids I used to babysit, pictures of my sisters, and a highly decorated calendar that contains my life OUTSIDE of work. I bet the lady that sits here when I go to lunch has a field day... she must, because she comes off as really nosy!

A certain person I know wanted me to mention that I did not break the wine glass - AND my crooked toe will be straightened if I didn't. So, there it is. Fine print, but it's there.

Dance Revolution

1. go to the gym
2. join a class
3. look better :)


That's the plan. Recent pictures have disgusted me. My friends deny it and tell me i'm beautiful - and I see what's in the pictures is definitely different from what's in the mirror. I already eat healthy and only drink water. I just need to add the physical back into my weekly regime. Don't get me wrong, I have wonderful self-esteem, just would probably feel better looking at pictures if I complete 1, 2, and 3. AND I love dancing - especially organized dance. So, it'll be fun, too. I'll keep you posted.

When I was in High School, I was the captain of my colorguard. We did lots of dance features and I loved every minute of it. The director even hired me to come back the next year to choreograph the show. I dance on the weekends out at clubs and have gotten comments like "damn, you can drop it like it's hot" and "i love the way you dance, teach me!" I even tried out for Spirit Drum and Bugle Corps and made it, just decided that I couldn't go on tour with them. sooo.... my head's a little inflated now, don't'cha think?

PLUS - this will add one more thing onto my already packed schedule. I'm sure it'll be something I'm excited to get up and do... just running laps at the gym doesn't sound so interesting. I'm stoked for this little dance revolution of mine!